My Resolutions for 2013

I know making new year resolutions is a bit cheesy, but this is my blog and I will do what I want.

I am hoping that my resolutions are things that are beneficial to myself and my family.

1. Take a vacation. With my family. Without electronic gadgets that distract us from one another.
2. Read more books. I am going to try to read at least 1 book per month. For fun. Or at least listen to an audiobook while working out.
3. Take my kids camping at least 1x this summer. 
4. Teach my oldest child how to use my sewing machine.
5. Complete at least 5 of the projects I have pinned on Pinterest. Make sure some of these projects are ones I can do with my kids.
6. Maintain my weight. Yes, I would love to lose 10-15, but maintenance after a major weight loss if often hard enough.
7. Bike a minimum of 500 miles once the ice clears off the roads. Fritz will be able to ride in a trailer or a bike seat this year, so this might become a possibility.
8. Learn more patience and communicate more effectively with my kids, even when they are ticking me off.
9. Swear a bit less. Gain a new favorite word.
10. Hug more, yell less.
11. Eat at least 1 serving of vegetables every day.
12. Drink at least 2 qts of water a day.
13. Meditate more.
14. Go out with my husband and no children at least once a quarter. We have a great relationship and I want to be sure to nourish it. More "special married people time" too.
15. Get better about making self-care a priority: annual physical, skin check (due to the cancer scare),  hair trims, dentist, eye appointment, etc.
16. Start caring for my skin nightly.... this face ain't gettin' any younger.
17. Play more games with my kids. Edie kicked my butt in Yahtzee the other day and it was FUN.
18. Watch all the Harry Potter movies with Amelia. She would love this.
19. Pay off the credit cards. I hate wasting money on interest payments. That is money we could be having fun with.

I think this is a good start. There are millions of ways that I can improve myself, but I will start with babysteps.

A Visual Display of our Bohemian Lifestyle

Often, when we say we move a lot, people will say, "Oh yeah, us too! We have moved 3 times in the last 15 years!" Umm..... that isn't really what I mean. Joe and I got married in June of 2000. We are now living in our 15th home since that day. 15! The funniest part about it all is that Joe and I were both born to very stable homes. Our parents still live in the homes we grew up in. Another funny is that I tried, in the beginning, to talk Joe into living in a VW bus, but he wanted more stability than that. The bus would have been easier.

Sorry for the quality of the photos. Many of them were snapped from my car while trying to not look like the weird lady who drives up and takes a random photo of someone else's home. Other views have been lifted from the interwebs.

Home #1:
33rd Street in San Diego.
This place was cockroach infested and was my very first apartment! My BFF and I moved from MN to CA and rented this 2 bedroom apartment. This place wasn't super safe. One morning I woke up to find that I couldn't go out the back gate as the alley had been shut down for a homicide that took place there overnight. My mom would have been having heart attacks to know I was walking around in this neighborhood, alone, at 3:00AM when I would get off work at the coffee shop a few blocks away. I got married only a few months after moving out to CA and then decided that Joe and I should really get our own place. We moved a few months after we were married.

Home #2:

Cherokee Ave in San Diego. I couldn't find a photo. 

It was a little duplex parked behind a house. This was still situated in Normal Heights, South of Adams (where the crime is). Bonus was that we didn't have cockroaches! Although, we did have crime. We lived here until Joe finished his time in the Navy.

Home #3:

Haunted home in Neenah.

We moved into this beauty completely sight unseen as we were moving from San Diego to Neenah, WI. It was a 1 bedroom house with a backyard that allowed for our dog! We were so excited. All of this for only $450 a month! When we moved in, we were so excited to see the bedroom had fresh paint and new carpet. Weird things began to happen here and even my husband who "doesn't believe in ghosts" agreed that this place was super haunted and we had to move out. You know that new carpet and paint? We found out after we moved out that was done because the previous tenant had shot himself in the bedroom. Apparently  there had been another suicide in the basement just a few years prior (our dog REFUSED to go anywhere near the basement). 

Home #4:

Cold Spring Villas, Neenah.

We found an apartment that allowed for our dog and was new-ish construction. This is where our oldest child was conceived (ahhhh, memories!)

Home #5:
Reed St. Neenah
Being pregnant with Amelia, we found ourselves nesting. Our lease was up with our apartment and so we went house hunting for our very first home to purchase! We found a small, 3 bedroom, 1 bath home that was in our budget. We moved in and lived here while Amelia was a baby. Joe fenced in the backyard and put in central air. We painted every room in this house.

Home #6:
Evan St. Appleton
Our home on Reed St was less than perfect. I had started a soap making business and had no place to work or store my stuff. Our home didn't have a basement. The housing market was great, so we decided to put our home on the market and buy a new construction home. This house was awesome. We loved it so much. Owen was even born in this home. See the tree on the left? That is the tree we buried his placenta under :) That fence? Joe built that. Owen took his first breaths in this home, in the dinning room and Amelia took her first steps in this living room. We thought we would live in this home forever.

Home #7:
Beaverton, OR
What? Oregon? How did we get here? Well, one day Joe and I were swimming in the backyard and we discussed how we were going to make our dreams happen. I wanted to go to a school out in Portland and he wanted to get back into the Pacific Northwest. We decided that it was now or never. We had 2 little kids and were growing more comfortable by the day. this comfort, we felt, would make us likely to settle for a life that we hadn't been planning on. So, we put Evan street on the market and it sold QUICK. We were off to Oregon just a few weeks later. We moved into a 3 bedroom condo. Edie was conceived here :)

Home #8:
Barnesville, MN
Yep, I said Minnesota. Oregon didn't work out so well for us. Joe wasn't making enough money at the job he found, my soap making business was suffering due to moving to a whole new place. We were out of our element and away from our support system. I was pregnant with baby #3 and this meant I wasn't going to be able to attend the school I had applied to. We were overwhelmed and the sun never seemed to shine. We realized we had been hasty with our decision to move. So, we headed back to the Midwest. Joe got a job in Fargo and we bought a new construction home in Barnesville (about 25 miles away). I still don't know what we were thinking in buying this home. It was more than we could comfortably afford, but something about nesting during pregnancy made renting seem horrible, so we were dumb and bought a house that stretched our budget to the MAX.

Home #9:
Cold Spring Villas, Neenah, WI (again)
Barnesville wasn't really our style and Joe was offered a position back with his company in Wisconsin with a raise! So, he moved back and stayed with a friend while we put our home on the market. This was in late 2006 when the market was starting to crash. Finally, we decided we couldn't be apart. I was living with 3 small kids (ages: 4, 2, and 4 months) and my husband was several hundred miles away. So, we moved into an apartment together in Wisconsin while we waited for our MN house to sell. It took months and cost us a ton of money to sell it. At least we were together again!

Home #10:
Berryfield Ln, Appleton

Having taken a bath on the sale of our home, buying a new one wasn't going to be an option for awhile. We needed out of the small 2 bedroom apartment though. We found a duplex to move into. It was nice and HUGE. This is where Edie took her first steps. I have fond memories of the kids playing in the snow in the yard.

Home #11:

Marquette St, Appleton

The place on Berryfield was nice, but it was pretty spendy. I had started my education and so we were broke most of the time. We needed to find a way to live more within our means. We found a small duplex that was about $400 a month cheaper, so we packed up and moved again. This place was great. It was only 1300 sqft, but was laid out so well that it completely worked for our family of 5. We also had deer that would come into the backyard and a groundhog that lived under the shed in the backyard. I finished my education while living here and so it was time to pack up and move to where I would start my career.

Home #12:

Townhouses in St Peter, MN

We moved into a town home in St Peter, MN. This fit our needs very well as it was 3 bedrooms, a decent price, and allowed for dogs. I can't complain about this place at all. 

Home #13:

Blue house in St Peter

We had no problems with the townhouses, but we found a single family home we could move into for about the same price! So, we decided to move off the hill and down into this rental home. It was such a nice place to live with a lovely backyard. This is the house we were living in when we found out that we were not going to stay a family of 5 :) We would have stayed longer than a year, but the owners decided to put the house on the market. (I know this photo is copyrighted, but it is actually a photo that I took, so it is weird to see someone else has copyrighted it. I guess I will take it down if it is a problem.)

Home #14:

Park Row, St Peter

I don't have a good photo of the outside of this beautiful home. We were able to find another home to rent and signed a year lease. This house is beautiful with the most gorgeous woodwork. It has such a good "home" feel to it. (P.S. this home is for sale!) This is the house where Fritz was born. Right in the office, our little boy came into his body and became a member of our family. 

Home #15:

The project home, St Peter

We are hoping that this is our FINAL home. Just writing this blog post about all of our moves has taken 2 hours. We are DONE. DONE. DONE. DONE. We decided to leap into home ownership again once we stumbled upon this foreclosure that has a 1/2 acre lot. We were really, really comfortable in the last house we were renting, but how can one argue with a huge lot and a home that is soooooo cheap. We have come full circle from our starter home and then 2 new construction homes, and then this piece of work that is actually the cheapest home we have ever owned. Most people try to move up to bigger and more expensive and we have gone the opposite direction. This home is where Fritz will take his first steps. This is where our kids will get ready for their first proms and bring home their children and partners for Christmas. We plan on mending broken hearts while sitting around our table and having plenty of mint juleps on the porch while sitting in our rocking chairs.

So, there. Those are our moves. It has been a crazy 12 years. Joe is really regretting not listening to me about the VW bus now. It would have been a lot cheaper and much easier on the body. Moving everything you own this many times is a whole lot of heavy lifting :)

The dressing of preteen girls

When my first born child was a baby, I thought decisions were hard. Breast or bottle? Jarred baby food or make our own? Spoon feed or finger foods? Crib or co-sleep? I am realizing now that she is much older that those decisions were the easy ones. I had a pretty good control over her world and her life. I was able to keep her safe and sheltered. I didn't do everything perfectly, but I did things out of love and in the way that I thought was the most beneficial to her. I was also smug (at times) because I was doing everything "right." We delayed all the allergenic foods, we cloth diapered in diapers that I and one of her grandmas made for her, I carried her in a wide assortment of baby carriers so her little butt would never need to sit in a STROLLER. I am beginning to realize that so much of that just really didn't matter for the long term. It isn't that it didn't matter, but more that our kids weren't going to end up in prison if we used disposable diapers instead of the cloth. All these early decisions were really just training for the bigger ones to come.

Now, my oldest child is a preteen or tween or whatever you want to call this age..... old enough for puberty but young enough to still act all sorts of insane and still, at times, very childlike. Holy cow! I am struggling with this so much more than I thought I would when I was feeding her an organic smoothie with berries that I grew myself and just the right balance of tofu and full fat yogurt for her brain development.

We needed to go shopping for a dress outfit for Christmas. On Christmas Eve, we always head to the candlelight service at my home church with my parents. I just don't want my kids to look like they just rolled in from a game of flag football. Nothing too fancy, but clean and like there was a touch of effort put into dressing for baby Jesus. I decided to take my oldest child with me to shop for these outfits. I figured that with her being in 5th grade, she is likely getting some more opinions about how she wants to dress. I was right. Shopping was painful.

We have reached this time where she can fit into the largest size in the girl's section or the smallest size in the women's section. Of course, her knowing this means she certainly doesn't want to shop in the girl's section! Off to the junior's department we go. From there, she picks out only things that are WAY too mature for her (at least in my eyes). Lots of lace, strapless, short skirts, etc. I, on the other hand, find things that are far too "babyish" with long sleeves, full skirt, and drop waist (maybe the fact that they came with a matching doll outfit could have tipped me off that the dress was a bit too young for her liking). The fact that we were essentially on different continents when it came to our ideas of what was appropriate for her to wear made for difficulties in communication. I was still trying to dress her like I did just last year and she was trying to dress like what she will be allowed in 5 years.

I became so frustrated with this entire process and then I had a moment of clarity where I remembered being her. I remembered this pair of jeans that I bought for myself when I was in 6th grade that were open on the sides all the way from ankle to hip. My mom had a fit and I was only allowed to wear these jeans if I wore leggings under them. That pretty much ruined the look, but now I get it. There is a fine balance to be found in all of this. I want my child to be able to express her individuality and the fact that she is maturing, but I don't want her to be oversexualized at this young age (or ever). It is hard to raise girls when there is more pressure for them to be pretty and sexy then there is for them to be interesting and cool. The choices in clothing were really just symbolic of everything we will have to work through together as we navigate the rough waters ahead. Well, to me they were symbolic, to her they were really cool clothes that her really mean mom wouldn't let her wear.

Each day as a parent gets a bit more challenging because I have less control and yet, her decisions mean more. There is a greater impact from the sorts of choices she makes today then there was when she was 2. I can remember kids who started making some really poor life decisions in middle school. Some of these people bounced back up and some did not. I have watched, with great interest, one of my close friends raise one of her kids up to college age now after having gotten to know them when this child was the same age that Amelia is. I can see that the decisions as a parent don't get any easier because the stakes keep getting higher, but the rewards appear to get a bit bigger as you get to see these kids become really awesome people. I am just hopeful that I can help guide these kids of mine the right way.  For now, we found an outfit that was a compromise between our two worlds as it is cool and grown-up without being the least bit sexy. I am happy and she is.... well, she is too moody to be happy, but I am getting used to that.

TGIF! What a week!!!

This week has been more chaotic then I enjoy. I mean, I love excitement as much as the next guy, but I also have a special place in my heart for boring. This week has not been boring. This week has also been quite expensive.

So, it all started Monday. Monday the phone rang at 5-something in the morning. It was the automated message stating that school was going to be 2 hours late. SCORE!  Of course, answering the phone meant I had to pee. I padded down the stairs in bare feet and thought, "Damn! It is cold out of bed! Joe REALLY is trying to save energy." and then I crawled back into bed and fell asleep under my flannel sheets, blanket, and down comforter. I woke up again about 1.5 hours later to Joe telling me that he couldn't get the furnace to light and he couldn't figure out why not. Keep in mind that school was 2 hours late because it was sooooooo cold! Joe lit the fireplace so at least the chill was taken off the livingroom and my office. It was in the 50s, which is still pretty chilly. He was able to get someone out to look at the furnace and fix it, which was great. It sucked though because it wasn't that long ago that we had someone out and put a few hundred into it already.

Joe headed off to work after the furnace was fixed and then I stumbled into the next problem. I took a shower and then headed into the basement to pull some canned goods to make dinner. I head a noise that made me jump and scream. I was absolutely certain it was a snake rustling through our veggie bags. Umm.... no.... silly Erika, it was simply water running down the pipes and shelves and hitting those bags. Crap! Water! So, I start exploring to see where the water is coming from and I start sending Joe pictures of it. This is right under the bathroom and since I just hopped out of the shower, I am pretty sure this water is from the shower. Anyhow, Joe ends up putting in an entire whopping 80 minutes of work for the day and then heading home to help me with this situation since I was at a loss as to what to do next. We figured out where the water was coming from and how to fix it. Yay for teamwork!

Tuesday and Wednesday were pretty boring, which I was thankful for. There may have been a blow out diaper or two, but just a typical day in the life. I did run and get a haircut on Wednesday night. I put off haircuts like I put off trips to the dentist. I just don't really enjoy people touching my head that much and making small talk with me while I am completely blind after shedding my glasses. I brought in pictures on pinterest of what sorts of cut I was looking for. I was having a hard time explaining what I wanted so at one point I even said, "make it a reverse mullet, I want all the party in the front and the business in the back."

Here is what I showed her I wanted:

Here is what the hairdresser heard:

I guess when she heard I had 4 kids, that was kinda the same, in her eyes, as having 8. Yep, Kate Gosselin and I live pretty much mirror lives.

Well, whatever. It is hair. Once I styled it myself (OMG, WHY DO THEY MAKE IT SOOOOOO POOFY?!?!) I found that I didn't totally hate it. I can work with this hair.

So, then this brings us all to Thursday. I had some things I had to do in the cities. For those of you who are not familiar with the geography of Minnesota, there are 2 locations: The Cities, and Up North. The Cities is really anything big enough to support a Super Target. So, I went to the cities for my stuff. I decided, as I often do when I find myself in the metro area, to pick up Thai food on my way home! I am all excited about this Thai food and driving along a major highway when the SUV in front of me slams into the back of the truck infront of him. I slam on my breaks and realize..... shit...... I am on ice. One little patch of ice on an otherwise totally clear interstate. My antilock brakes are going bananas and I realize I should just brace for it because I am not coming to a stop. My very first car accident as a driver! Fortunately, the drivers of the other 2 cars involved were really nice guys and everyone was very polite and orderly about the entire thing. We exchanged info and made sure everyone was ok and then went about our days. I was not thrilled with myself as this was my new-to-me Subaru and I broke my bumper, one of my lights, and my grill. Fritz slept through the entire thing! Go figure. Not a peep out of him.

On my way to my original destination I had noticed I was getting low on gas. I planned on getting some on my way home. Now this fact becomes important to the story. During the exchange of information I left my car running. I also left the car running while getting Thai food... don't judge me, you know you do it too. My baby was in the car and it was cold out. Then I hit traffic that was stop and go.... mostly stopped. Oh no. Now my situation, I realize, is getting desperate. My car is so low on gas that it won't show even the "empty" block on the gas gauge. It is making an occasional "glug" noise and I am still 1.5 miles from my exit. Traffic is still mostly stopped and I am now sobbing as I call my husband because I am in a panic. He was 60 miles away, so it wasn't like he could do anything other than talk me down and listen to my panic. I just knew that I was going to run out of gas on the highway and then have to leave my freshly crashed car and walk with the baby to the gas station to get gas. Did I mention that my baby didn't have a winter jacket? Nope, no jacket, because jackets aren't supposed to be safe in a carseat and so I just had a quilt with for him. So, I am picturing walking with my baby (not in a jacket) to the gas station, getting gas, walking back (still with the half-naked baby) all on a Minnesota winter day. Awesome. FINALLY, I make it to the exit, get across the road and to the gas station, I am coasting in on fumes. As in, I apply my brakes in the gas station parking lot and my car dies. It ran completely out of gas. Hey, I am actually at the gas station though!! Whoohoo!

Joe and I spent some time trying to figure out if I was really lucky or really unlucky. Sucks to get in a car accident, but no one was hurt. Sucks to run out of gas, but it rocks when you happen to be AT the gas station when your car finally kicks it.

I decided I was unlucky because my amazing Thai food got really cold during all this drama. AND they used green peppers in my curry that normally had red peppers.... I freakin hate green peppers.

Anyhow, I am glad it is Friday. I am ready for a weekend.

My challenge to myself this week

I have been struggling this fall/early winter with exercise. I just haven't been getting nearly enough of it.  It is the baby's fault. He is a handful and i am often exhausted by the end of the day. Ok, it isn't really his fault. It is just all the normal stuff that makes it hard for anyone to keep up with fitness: kids, work, lack of sunlight, short days, work, kids, cold weather moving in, work, kids.... did I mention kids and work? Going to the gym can be a challenge with the cost of gas and the time it takes between driving (20-ish minutes each way), dropping off Fritz at the childcare, working out, picking Fritz up, and then driving home. I need to be home again before my kids get home from school and so it basically has to be a day that I am not working in order for me to have enough time to go. None of this is new to anyone who has ever struggled to keep workouts happening. It is hard. It is hard for nearly everyone to fit all these things in.

The last 3 days I have managed to work out every day!! Whoohoo! I have decided to challenge myself to continue this all week long. At least SOMETHING everyday. Even if it is just walking around the track at the community center or doing a yoga video here at home. I know that if I do it every single day, I am more likely to keep it up. When I take a few days off, it is that much harder for me to motivate myself into doing anything.

Why is it so important to me? Exercise makes me a nicer person. Go ahead, ask my kids... I am much calmer and have a much longer fuse when I have recently worked out. Also, my jeans have been getting tight. This is not good. It is so much easier to fix a problem when it is a small problem then letting it become a big problem. Much easier to lose 5lbs than 125. I would say that exercise is the only "me" time that I ever get. Fritz even stays with me the vast majority of the time for work, so it is a rare, rare thing for me to be alone. Not that I often get to be alone for exercise either, but at least some of the time I do :)

Hopefully, I can pull it off this week. I am not off to a great start this morning since SOMEBODY (not naming any names... Fritz....) has an upset tummy and so I can't take him to the Y or drop him off at childcare. I will not inflict these diapers on anyone.

SOAP!

For those of you who don't know, I used to be a hard core soapmaker. I learned it as a hobby in early 2001 and then I started a business in 2002 so that I could work at home while taking care of Amelia (and then the other two who came shortly after). I would spend every weekend during the spring/summer/fall at farmer's markets and festivals selling my soaps and lotions and other various bath products.

I had always said that if it didn't feel like fun anymore then I would quit. I ended up getting pretty burnt out on it, so I did eventually quit. Much to my husband's dismay, I also stopped making it for our personal use. I, finally, just felt like making it again. Tonight I did!

Keep in mind that I am not showing you these photos as instruction on how to make soap (there are better websites that do a more thorough job of that). Also, I should technically be wearing gloves and goggles, but my glasses are huge and work like goggles and I don't like to wear gloves. Lye burns like a MOTHER, but I prefer to feel when I have gotten it on my hand so I can wash right away rather than having it on my gloves and then accidentally brushing it against my face or something. So there. My disclaimers.

My supplies involve several kinds of fixed oils and lye. For this batch of soap I used for oils: olive, palm, coconut, and avocado. It was strange using 7lb bottles of oils instead of 50lb pails like I used to!

Here is my mold that holds a loaf that makes 12 HUGE bars of soap (they end up being 5-6oz each)

My lye and water are set carefully in the sink. This is so that if it gets knocked over some how, the mess is contained to the sink. Lye is nasty to work with. I was only willing to whip up soap because Joe was home to wrangle children and be sure none of them would get hurt.

So, the lye mixture cools to about 100 degrees and then I had to heat the oils to about 100 degrees. Keep in mind that I did this for years and years (in huge quantities, many times per week), so I have gotten pretty comfortable working without a thermometer and just using my hands to tell me when the temps are right.

When the temps were right, I started mixing. I could just use the spoon, but it takes a few hours of stirring. A stick blender makes it MUCH faster. In just a few minutes it goes from looking like this to looking like pudding (called a "trace")

See? Here I am being all dangerous without safety gear!

This is what a trace looks like:

The fragrance oil is added at trace, and this fragrance oil made it start to set up quick, so I had to run it to my mold.

Edie snapped a photo of me slapping it into the mold (which I lined).

I covered the mold with a towel to help retain the heat. It will stay in the mold for 24 hours and then I will take it out and cut it.

Here the soap is starting a "gel stage." After it is removed from the mold and cut, it will need to "cure" for approximately 4 weeks to make sure it is nice and gentle.

4 weeks is an awfully convenient time for Christmas gifts ;) This batch was scented with Dragon's Blood fragrance oil, which is AMAZING. It is like a spicy incense. Yum.

I am excited to have enough oils to make about 6 batches of soap. Of course, I also bought the supplies to make lotion bars and I am thinking sometime this weekend making my oldest child do that with me.

Running for time instead of distance

The last few runs at the Community Center have been really freeing in some ways. I decided that since 13.5 laps make a mile, there was just no way that I was going to count laps or be able to keep track. Instead, I just ran and listened to my music. I ended up going for 38 minutes the first time and 31 minutes last night. It does hit my pride a little to not see the mileage building, but I think this method is better for my mental space.

It has been a challenge for me when I see other people's paces to keep my head held high. I am SLOW.  If I ever run a mile in less than 9 minutes, I will throw a party (no, really.... big party). On average, I tend to run a mile in about 12-13 minutes. This is even the case back before Fritz when I was running a lot more and on a more regular basis. Even when I had to run 2 miles in less than 18:54 to pass Army basic training, I barely made it and then threw up on myself and peed my pants... that is how hard I was running. And that was after being in extremely regular physical training.... hours every. single. day. At the community center, it is not unusual for little old ladies with walkers to pass me. One would think it would be inspirational to compare with others who are running faster, but for me, it hits me and makes it so I kinda just want to give up. So, I am feeling like if I stop keeping track of pace for awhile, it will keep me moving without me making the comparisons. I am a pretty competitive person in some ways..... usually in ways that bring me down on myself.

I thought a lot about training techniques last night while running in a circle. I was wondering if I would be able to train for any big races by ignoring distance. I think so! I find that when I am tracking distance, I sometimes will skip hills or other things that would make my run more challenging so that I get a better time. I also will often stick to only roads that I know I can map later so I know how far I went. If I am running slower than normal, I will find myself getting really angry at myself instead of just relaxing and going with it. When I have focused on wanting to go a certain distance, I have sometimes pushed myself much harder than my body could handle (hello, injury!). Even if I never pay attention to distance again, I guess I will know that I would be ready for a marathon if I could run for 5 hours :) I have a feeling that I will start tracking distances again before I am able to run for 5 hours straight, but for now it is feeling a bit more 'zen' to just let it go.

Our fireplace

I decided that Sunday was a day to repaint our fireplace. In one day I managed to degloss, prime, and put 4 coats of paint on it!

Here is a before:

You can see all the film on the glass and someone had also colored on the glas with a crayon. The wood looks better in this photo, but was quite washed out looking in person. It just needed a face lift.

Here is another before as we prepared the space:

Got it taken apart, set up, and I de-glossed it:

Then we primed it with some leftover tinted primer. If I was going to do it again, I wouldn't have gone with tinted primer. It was hard to cover with the white. However, like I said, this was leftover from our kitchen/bathroom door/stairs and so it was free.

Here I am applying 1 of the 4 coats of white paint.

 And, ta-da! It is REALLY white. Like, so white that when I stare directly at it I end up seeing spots and screaming, "My eyes! My eyes!" Joe is telling me that it will look different once we get all the stuff put back on top..... and maybe some dirty fingerprints on it to match the rest of our house.

The brass is now bothering me more, so I am planning to run to Home Depot today to get some paint for that. This fireplace still isn't perfect and doesn't look new, but it has now had a facelift and is looking a bit improved.

I tried to light it for the picture, but couldn't get it started. Yes, I turned on the gas, but nothing. I wonder if Joe turned off the gas in the basement? Anyhow, yes, I turned the gas back off when I couldn't get it lit. I will have Joe light it later.


ETA: I got the brass toned down and I am much happier. I took it all off, scrubbed it with degreaser, sanded it a bit to rough it up, and then I applied spray paint. I used Rust Oleum high temperature spray paint. I had planned on painting it all a flat black, but Home Depot was out of black and all they had was silver. For under $6, I figured I would take the risk and do the silver. I actually like it and will be keeping it this color. So, here is the finished product (yes, Joe got it lit for me):

This entire project was completed with leftovers from other projects in the house plus $11 worth of stuff: $6 for paint and $5 for new "burning embers" for the fireplace. I am really pleased with it.

More weekend projects

Our lives revolve around weekend projects. A few weekends ago it was cleaning up the yard in preparation for winter. Then we needed to organize our basement so we could actually find stuff down there. Today, I convinced Joe that it was time to take on our fireplace.

We have a gas fireplace that was installed in 1998 (we found an inspection tag with this date). It wasn't the most expensive of fireplaces to begin with, but good enough. Anyhow, we haven't been running it because it was filthy and we wanted to take the time to really clean it up and look it over first so we were safe. Today, we disassembled it and cleaned the entire thing and put it back together again. It is working, other than the blower isn't. We got new burning ember things, replaced the rocks, cleaned the glass, and inspected it all pretty carefully. We discovered a mouse trap in our fireplace.... one of those ones where you don't have to see your catch. It was tripped. I wonder how long...... ugh.... we might have had a mummy mouse in the fireplace.

We dropped by a fireplace place today and chatted with a guy about the seal on our glass and looked at beautiful stoves. Here is the one I want:

Isn't it beautiful? Of course, it is also around $3,000, so we will be wish-listing this item for awhile. It might need to go after the hot tub and cob pizza oven.

For now we have:

Can you see Fritz inspecting it all very carefully? In overalls! How cute are babies in overalls?!?!?!

I have also decided that tomorrow we will be painting the fireplace. The wood is in rough shape. At one time it was pretty, but now it needs a facelift. I plan to spend tomorrow painting. Yay for us! But, it should look nice by my appointments on Tuesday.

P.S. Just so no one worries about our safety, we did pick up a brand new carbon monoxide detector today to be sure we aren't going to kill ourselves with the fireplace.

So much to be thankful for

Today, like many of you, I am thinking about how much I have to be thankful for. 2012 has brought a whole lot of good things our way! I am thankful for:

• My wonderful husband. 2012 has been a year of building towards our future.
• My gorgeous children! 
• My children are all doing well in school.
• Fritz joined us this year and has been an incredible blessing. I am so glad he is here.
• This year we purchased a home. It is far from a dream home, but it is our future. It is currently saving us a ton of money by having a low mortgage and has a huge lot where I intend on growing our family food. It was a house and it is becoming a home.
• I have job that I feel.... well, I feel a lot of things about it. At times, it is overwhelming and so difficult and at other times it is easy and fun.... overall, it is important to me and I feel good about what I am doing.
• Joe started a new job this year. This job came with better benefits and better pay. Much, much better benefits. He enjoyed his previous job and we are thankful for that job as well! He worked there for 3 years and met lots of really good people. Now he is settling into this new job and meeting more good people and just enjoying life. Good stuff.
• We have amazing friends. Some of these friends live close and some live far away. I get to go out for drinks with some and others are a phone/coffee date away. We have these lovely people in our lives who happily help us with a wide variety of things and are up for a crazy corndog-based party..... what more could a gal want from her pals?
• I have a wonderful family. Not just my husband and kids, but parents and siblings as well. We are lucky people.
• I am thankful for the health of my family. There has been times in the past where this health was much more shaky and I am thankful (so. insanely. thankful.) that my loved ones are healthy again.
• I am thankful for the new person who will be joining my extended family very soon!
• I am thankful for my health. This last year I had a melanoma scare that has left me with only half my belly button, but there is nothing like a huge scare like that to make you appreciate the health you have.

I know there is even more that I have to be thankful for and will likely think of many things as soon as I hit "publish," but here is my list for now. Life is good!

What I will not be doing on Friday.

I will not be participating in any Black Friday deals this year. Not at all. Not online. Not in store. Nope. Nada.

Over the last few years I have become shaken by what this day has become. People have been trampled TO DEATH so others could get a cheaper television or toys. This disturbs me to my core. That person's life was worth soooooo much more than that. I am also soooooo bothered by the fact that retailers are starting their Black Friday deals on Thursday morning! All those minimum wage employees now not only have to deal with being trampled on Friday, but they also have to miss out on family time on a holiday. I have never been a huge fan of shopping anyhow, so maybe it is just easy for me to give up the good deals and standing in lines for HOURS.

I saw something on Facebook a few weeks ago that stated if families just spent a little bit ($64) of their Christmas budgets on products made in the USA, it would equate to 200,000 new jobs in the US! That got me started thinking. Why wouldn't I want to support more jobs here? And that led me to my next thought, which was trying to support small businesses.... work at home mom style businesses. Make sure that the money and job security gets to the actual person doing the hard work rather than to a large corporation with fat cats sitting at the top. So, we are trying hard this year to purchase handmade, local (or local-ish.... for sure from the USA), and ethically made items for our Christmas gifts. We have decided that local services also are ok (gift certificate for a pedicure or some such thing) and that thrift stores for certain second hand items (books) are ok, too. I am considering making coupon books for the kids that will have coupons they can cash in for special time with either of us.... like maybe each of them will get a coupon for a date and dinner out, or a slumber party with a parent (movie and junk food and staying up way past bedtime), or..... I am not sure what else, but this is something I am working on figuring out.

This is making shopping into a unique challenge this year! I, for the life of me, am struggling to figure out what to buy for an 8 year old boy that is handmade. This kid only likes legos and Star Wars. However, it has made me realize that it doesn't really matter. We live such an abundant life! I will find some sort of trinket of this abundance to gift him for the day, but I don't want to gift him some cheap piece of plastic that a child in a foreign land had to make, knowing that we will be throwing out next year when he outgrows it. There is nothing that we actually NEED. We have everything we need.... clothing, shelter, food.

I want my children to understand how fortunate they are. It was not so many years ago that I remember going to Aldi with our last $12 to buy groceries for the week. It wasn't that many years ago that I needed my parents to purchase winter coats for the kids because we couldn't afford them. We are still not wealthy, by any stretch of the imagination (free and reduced lunches at school? yep, we qualify), but we are able to pay our bills (although sometimes the student loan number shows up on our caller ID). I was able to buy all the children winter jackets. We bought our crappy little house this year which provides us with warm shelter (and hilarious adventures). We have vehicles to get us around. We have the basics AND extras. When I really think of what it is to not be able to afford food, I am struck by how absolutely ABUNDANTLY we live. So, I want to somehow share that with my children and not shower them with so many gifts that they can't even remember they should be thankful.

I promise that I will not judge you if you are shopping on Friday. I will not judge if you spend a small fortune on Christmas, really. I realize that my ideas are not perfect. I feel like it is a start. And it gets me out of having to brave the crowds on a day that I would rather be hanging out with my kids at home.

Why I am voting no. (my only political post of this season)

I promise that I won't rant a lot about politics other than this post. I am sure it won't come as a big surprise to many of you that I am a liberal. You have likely seen my compost bin, cloth diapers, lack of many disposable products in my home, unshaven legs (I normally would shave, but Fritz HATES the shower and screams the entire time I am in there, so there is just no time).... I am a tree hugger. I love nature... other than snakes, those little buggers I could do without. I love people. I think we should feed the hungry and provide medical treatment to the sick. If these things shock you about me then either you don't know me very well OR I really need to work on the impressions I leave on people. I am voting "NO" on the marriage amendment in the state of MN this next week. Voting "no" will not legalize gay marriage. It won't change anything in Minnesota. It will only stop our constitution from being changed to more strictly define marriage.

I recently shared an experience on my facebook page about my daughter making a comment about "homophobic candy" coming from homes with a "Vote Yes" sign and how she wouldn't eat this candy. Many people were supportive and then a few people became really offended by my 10 year old child's politics and ideals.

I am sorry if your feelings were hurt by my child stating that those signs were homophobic. It doesn't feel good to feel criticized or like people are calling names. However, there is another pain I would like you to imagine for a moment. Think of your wonderful husband/wife and imagine for just a moment that they were in a horrible accident. This is the person you have built your everything with. They are your best friend, lover, and your family. Now, imagine the hospital won't let you into the room because the state doesn't recognize your family. That hurts. Imagine it is your child who was in the accident and the hospital won't let you in because you are not the biological parent. This is easy for adoptive parents to imagine or parents who have had to use donated sperm or eggs to conceive..... they are YOUR kids (not in DNA, but in every other way)..... but what if the state decided not to recognize that? That certainly brings more pain than being called homophobic.

I support religious freedoms. If your church does not want to perform marriages between same-sex couples, that is a-okay with me (I won't be a member of your church, but I would support your church's right to be this way). I support your right to believe that homosexuality is a sin. I do not support people trying to impose their religious beliefs on the entire state. What if my religion didn't recognize 2nd or 3rd marriages? Should I lead a campaign to have these marriages lose any legal recognition? What if I am just trying to protect you from the sin of divorce and save you from a hot eternity? I will not debate out if homosexuality is a sin. That view really depends on what your religious views are and we are supposed to have separation of church and state. This is a legal matter we are voting on, not a religious opinion. Also, we aren't voting on if homosexuality is 'icky' or not, although one would think we were.

When people talk about the sanctity of marriage, I often find myself shaking my head. If the two ladies down the street are allowed to officially wed one another and gain legal rights to the property of one another..... this affects my marriage how, again? My husband and I have been married since 2000 and have been a couple since 1999. First marriage for both of us. We are boring and completely monogamous (right, Joe???) but with a rich relationship. It is not cheapened by what other people do. It does not matter in my marriage if people get married or divorced.... we are who we are and we have what we have. I would like for more people to be able to experience what I have.

Anyhow, I am voting "NO" because it doesn't affect me. It doesn't hurt me to allow others to have the same rights that I enjoy as a married person. Heck, voting "NO" doesn't even change anything. I don't see a reason to change our constitution. I have hopes that the future will bring more love and compassion, but at least for this year, I don't want there to be more hate.

Just holding on for dear life

I try very hard to look for the positive and to always remind myself of how much worse things could be, but lately I have been a bit overwhelmed. This week has been hard. This month has been hard. There are days that I feel it has swallowed me whole. This month:

• Head gasket in my car went out, so we had to buy a new one, which while fun also means we have a 2nd car payment again
• Fritz has been teething and so I don't really sleep
• Fritz has been teething so he has been blowing out his diapers 1-2 times a day with poop that goes up his back and down to his knees
• He also likes to poop in the tub while I am cleaning him up
• I had to give up roller derby due to family conflicts
• We nearly blew ourselves up with our furnace and then had to spend a good chunk of change to get it fixed
• Kids have been on edge and fighting a ton
• Owen lost his glasses ($$$)
• I tried to get into a confrontation with a guy who thought it was funny to act as if he was going to run me over while I was out for a run. What was I thinking?
• I had to run Fritz to the ER when he got stung by a wasp while we were out for a walk.... his hand became very swollen and some of his fingers turned black. I am still waiting to see the bill for that one.
• We were supposed to be on a Disney vacation this past week. However, Joe started a new job less than 2 months ago and so he doesn't have the vacation time to do that. So, it kinda sucked to see this time come up on the calendar and here we are still at home.
• This week 3 of us got the stomach flu. Lots of vomit. My stomach muscles are still trying to recover.
• This week, child #3 proved to have a head full of little friends.
• This week, we found evidence of mice having parties after we go to bed.
• This week, child #4 found a mouse in a trap and was swinging it around by the tail and just having the best time with his new (dead) friend
• We failed our lead clearance test (I am certain that will cost us more $$$)
• We had a bat in the house
• We have had eleventy-bajillion wasps in the house
• Signs of my fertility returned, including a week of the WORST PMS EVER. But, I didn't realize it was PMS, I thought my family was just being a pile of asshats. Sorry, family.
• I appear to have developed an ulcer. So, I have had to reduce my coffee consumption, cut alcohol, and start drinking cabbage juice. Having a burning gut is not exactly a good time. 

There are just some months in life that are harder than others and I hope this is just one of those bumps along the way. Some months it would just be easier to roll with all of this stuff, but it is getting to me right now. I often find myself fantasizing about running away :) 

Here are the things I can be thankful for:

•  My car died on the way HOME from a birth rather than on my way out to one
• My new car is pretty awesome
• We have heat and did NOT blow ourselves up. I am very thankful for that.
• The wasps are starting to slow down as the weather gets colder and colder.
• Only 1 kid out of a family of 6 got head lice.
• That nasty PMS episode means that my family is not made up of a bunch of asshats, but are instead pretty awesome people who love me even when I am a hormonal monster.
• We caught a mouse.
• The bat was safely ushers out of the house without any bites or any need for rabies shots.
• Joe started that new job, which long term the benefits are soooo much better. We will miss this one vacation, but make up for it in many other ways.
• I am thankful to have the abilities to take my children to an ER when they have a scary reaction. There are people who do not have easy access to medicine.
• Sorry, I just can't think of anything to be thankful for on the ulcer side of things. This one just sucks. I am not at ALL happy to be giving up coffee and wine. I am not at ALL happy to be drinking cabbage juice 4 times a day. 

So, I am just holding on through this bumpy ride and reminding myself to reconsider all the "bad" things and turn them into good things. Life can suck. Sometimes, you can make life suck a little bit less by simply considering all the ways you are fortunate. I could focus on the bad or I could choose to focus on the good. I am trying, people, I am trying hard.

Creepy crawlies

There are times in the life of each person where the universe seems to be laying on the drama nice and thick. Of course, there are times that the universe layers on the good stuff too, but we often forget that or just think of that as normal life.

Last night, Joe was supposed to go out to the bar to play trivia with friends. I will admit, I am still a WEE bit pissy about that. Yes, he deserves to have fun. No, I don't think it is too much to ask that he get 1 night a week to do what he wants to do. HOWEVER, I had to give up my activity (that took up 1-2 nights a week) because it didn't work with our family. I often look at him with jealousy anyhow because that man gets to poop all by himself! I don't get to poop alone! I don't get to shower alone, eat alone, I don't get 15 minutes all by myself in the car, etc. So, I NEED an activity ALONE. OMG, yesterday I demanded a shower while everyone was home and that was the first time I had been alone for 10 minutes in over 2 days! And it didn't even last because the baby crawled to the bathroom door and stood, hitting it, and crying for me to come out. Anyhow, back to the story.... 20 minutes before Joe was set to leave and we were trying to get laundry folded. In walks Edie, scratching her head, talking about how itchy it was so I tell her to come over while I take a look........ <GASP, SHUDDER> yeah, you know what I found.

So, I had to inform my husband that there would be no trivia, but there would be laundry and a trip to the drug store in his future. There may have been a good amount of pouting. Followed by some Facebook time while his wife nagged him. However, he pulled it together and had to care for a cranky baby who only wanted me while I shampooed with that chemical stuff that will kill a person (mayo and a shower cap wasn't going to cut it.... this was BAD, guys) and then I spent nearly 3(!!!) hours combing her entire head out with the tiny little comb. Thankfully, it appears that only 1 child has lice. Everyone else was free and clear. Joe and Fritz folded a mountain of clean laundry during this 3 hours, so BONUS!

Now, this morning, we are still catching up on lice laundry and our washing machine starts acting up. Crap. We are a family of 6, so we already make a lot of laundry. We cloth diaper, we use cloth napkins, Fritz blows out his diapers 2-3x a day, he pukes on me another 2x a day, etc. Mix that with having to wash all jackets, towels, clothing, and bedding on hot RIGHT NOW to be sure we get rid of our tiny friends and I have no patience for a machine that is acting a fool. From what I read online, it might just be a sensor that Joe could easily fix. But, for this moment, there is a big pregnant pause in all our cleaning activities. yay.

It hasn't been an easy week between the stomach flu that came to visit, Edie bringing home her little friends, and now the washing machine. However, I am hopeful that things are going to turn around soon.

Monday Fitness Weekly Wrap-up (a day late)

I have to say, I like the sounds of "Fitness Fridays" better..... maybe I will switch to reporting on Fridays.

Anyhow, I have been going to the YMCA this past week. It is nice because there is childcare there for Fritz, so I can get a break every so often from this lovely boy. I went and swam laps twice, ran for a smidge on the treadmill (and then realized that I would rather not run at all then run on a treadmill, those things are sooooo boring), and took a few walks this week. Grand total I moved my body 6 miles and did almost 3 hours of exercise. I could have gotten more in, but we got the stomach flu on Friday in this house and it took all weekend to recover.

Also, the children had a long weekend home from school, which just threw off routine and made it hard to do anything. I took them swimming on Thursday, but swimming with kids is rarely actually swimming. It really involved me standing and bouncing and chatting with a friend while making sure no one ran or dunked or drown.

All in all, it just wasn't a very impressive week. Maybe this week will be better???

Where are the running posts???

I have been asked a few times by people what has happened to all my running Dailymile posts that I used to do. Unfortunately, I am just not logging very many miles by running right now. Prior to getting pregnant (and even during my pregnancy) there was a certain bliss that came from long runs. Going out for 90 minutes to run brought me an incredible zen-like joy, lots of endorphins, and I wouldn't even ache the next day. I seem to have lost that! Since Fritz was born, each run has made me tired, sore, achey, and not joy-like. I haven't been able to capture that blissful feeling.

I still remember one amazing run, shortly after finding out I was pregnant. I went up to the college and ran on their trails while contemplating the surprising news that we were going to have a new person joining us. I had a lot to think about. On the way home, which was downhill, I decided to run through people's yards rather than the sidewalk. I was in my barefoot shoes, Mumford and Sons pumping through my headphones, and I was flying down the hill through the grass. I felt like a kid. I got home and was so filled with JOY (you know, and endorphins getting me high as a kite). I want to feel THAT when I workout. I need to feel that in order to continue.

Today is the Mankato Marathon. I am cheering on all the people who are running (but from home as I am recovering from the flu), and I hope they are feeling that joy and bliss. I had been planning on running a marathon by now (Fox Cities Marathon back in September), but when I couldn't get that bliss to join me in my running shoes, I couldn't make myself do the long milage required for training. There is a big part of me that is jealous of those runners as this was a goal I had held out for myself, but it is simply not my time yet. I have faith that eventually I will find that rhythm again, where I run and feel like a kid and my brain goes quiet from all the worries and stresses of life.

In the meantime, I am experimenting with workouts. I have been walking a lot since Fritz enjoys that. I have also been hitting the YMCA for some lap swimming, which I suck at. I am looking at a few YMCA classes that I might give a try to.... cardio kickboxing and that sort of thing. Maybe I will give yoga another try. I have considered buying snow shoes and cross country skis for winter, maybe one of these other activities will help me find that same joy? Time will tell.

Why are you so cranky?

Yesterday, I scrubbed my house. I washed, dried, and folded 6 loads of laundry, I did the dishes, I bleached out the sink, I made pizza crust from scratch and got dinner on the table by 5:30PM, I vacuumed up the dead wasps in my home office, I picked up some of the trash outside on the yard, I took out the compost, I cleaned dog poop up out of my son's room, I lit incense to take care of the dog poop aroma, I bathed the baby, I cleaned up after the baby played in the toilet and got pee water all over the floor, I swept the stairs, I scrubbed the kitchen table, I got insurance billed for 1 client, I brought down all the dirty laundry from the bedrooms, and all of this was while caring for a baby who clings to my legs and screams at me because my breast is not in his mouth.

Would you like to know what followed?

"Oh, honey, the house looks great and it smells so good and I am very excited for this homemade pizza with from-scratch crust! Let me give you a foot rub and why don't you soak in the bath while I take the Girl Scout out for her door-to-door solicitations. And by the way, I can tell you went to the gym... you look amazing."

"Wow! Mom! Thanks for washing all our clothes so we have clean underwear! Thank you for cleaning up the dog poop. Dinner looks great! How can we help keep the house clean?"

"Mommy, I know I am a needy baby who demands to be nursed and snuggled 24/7 and I haven't been letting you sleep, but I just want you to know that you are the best mommy EVER!"

Umm.... yeah... no, this is the real world. Not one single person mentioned that the house looked nice or smelled nice. No one thanked me for the mountains of laundry I took care of. They did complain about needing to put them away. I am pretty sure my husband did not even notice that the house had been cleaned.... he asked me where the low mein noodle was that I was complaining about on Facebook.... dude, I cleaned it up. <sigh>

I did, however, get asked why I seemed so cranky.

Monday Fitness Weekly Wrap-Up

Mondays are the start of the new week on dailymile, so I tend to think of my workout week beginning on a Monday rather than a Sunday. This last week I logged 14.93 miles..... not too shabby, but I need to improve upon that! I spent 4 hours and 42 minutes getting these miles and there was only 1 run, the rest were walks. I didn't even walk in a weird, fast, hip-swinging way. It was just me out for a stroll with the baby.

Our walks were all lovely. It is getting crisp out there. I found my headphones (finally!) after losing them in the move. Fritz loves being in the stroller, so I have been trying to get him out in the fresh air almost daily. My run with Fritz was a little rough as we had a run-in with a driver who thought he was HILARIOUS, but I have let it go.

This week I would like to really try to get myself to the Y to work out. I haven't used my membership since I was pregnant (other than taking the kids swimming a few times), even though I continue to pay for it. The childcare there doesn't accept babies until they are 6 months old, so I had to wait. Fritz turned 6 months old over the summer, but then the hours of school age watch and younger kids weren't the same and the Pepsi cube (where big kids can play) wasn't open at the same time as the childcare and so, basically, it was impossible for me to go with all these children. Now with school back in session and the childcare hours being normal, I should either be able to go during the day when the bigs are all in school, or even after school if the bigs have their homework done.

I have been considering once a week making Amelia go to an aerobics class with me. Maybe Zumba. I am trying to find ways to make my kids more active. I want to help them find activities they don't mind doing. I figure exercise is NOT optional when it comes to health so I just want to help them find activities they enjoy doing. I actually have it as part of their daily chore charts. They must move their bodies for 20 minutes (minimum) each day after school. How they do it is up to them, but they can walk, jump on the trampoline, ride bike, go for a run, play at the park across the street, organize a game that involves running, etc. I plan on making a better effort once it gets cold outside of taking them to the pool to swim once or twice a week for their activity, but for now the weather has been holding.

Maybe I will try to make it to lap swim today. Of course, that will require enough shower time to shave and I am not sure if Fritz will allow for that. We will see what we can accomplish :)

Weight loss goals vs. delusions

I am finding myself torn lately about my goals when it comes to my weight. When I originally started this weight loss journey I figured I would be happy if I ever got to the point where I didn't need to shop at Lane Bryant anymore. Once that happened, then I figured if I could get to a normal BMI (136lbs or less) then that would be amazing. I had almost gotten there when I got pregnant. After having Fritz, I was immediately 131 lbs, which was pretty stinking awesome. Now, at 8 1/2 months post partum, I am down to 123 lbs. This is way lighter than I had ever expected to be. This is where I become a bit confused though. I find myself wondering if I shouldn't just take off another 10-15lbs. I have a teeny little frame, I am not meant to be heavy. I am not "big boned" at all! Should I consider myself done with weight loss at 123 or should I push just a little bit more?

When I look at my excess skin, there is, realistically, about 6-10 lbs worth of excess skin that I could have removed. You simply can't lose as much weight as I have (I have lost more than I weigh) and NOT have a good amount of extra skin swinging around. So, maybe I shouldn't lose anything and instead save up for a tummy tuck/lower body lift?

It is hard to think of getting OUT of the weigh loss mode. This must be how those anorexic girls on the after-school specials felt. They could look in a mirror and still see a bit more to come off. Not that I am anorexic.... I am not saying that. It is just that one can always see room for improvement and when does this cross into being a bit delusional? When does it cross into an unhealthy obsession?

I think I need to just get back in the gym and focusing on my work outs. That tends to help as I am not so focused on my weight or weight loss, but instead focused on fitness goals. Now that Fritzy is over 6 months old, he can finally go to the childcare at the YMCA!!!! YAY!!! I should utilize that on days that I don't have to work. This last week I have let my feet carry me more than 13 miles with running/walking and that has been sooooooo nice. Time to step it up a bit more. Time to lift some weights and get some muscles. Time to challenge myself. Time to get re-started with that marathon training business..... that all fell by the wayside while we tried to make this house livable and my arthritis was flaring up big time and life felt hard.

Fitness goals:

• Be able to ride bike to and from the YMCA for workouts (the Y is the next town down the highway), this would be 12.9 miles each way.
• Get back up to running for 60-90 minutes straight.... eventually get that marathon training
• Lift some weights! See some arm muscles
• Be able to swim 1/2 a mile
• Be able to feel fit enough to go for a run with someone else (I run alone because I am SLOW)

Open letter to the mothers who are far better than I am.

You know who you are. You see me as a parent and it brings pity into your heart for my small children.  You can't help but come up to me and let me know the errors of my ways. Last night, you let me know that you felt my baby was dressed inappropriately for the weather. I laughed a little and said that I was just trying to make my baby prepared for when the windchill takes this b*tch to -50 (ok, I didn't say the b-word, but I was struggling not to).

What I really wanted to say:

I am glad for your child that she has a perfect mother. That is simply not my kids' lot in life. They got me. I mess up..... daily. I swear too much, I am sarcastic, I sometimes get snippy with them for no good reason, I don't check the weather report before we leave the house for an hour and so I don't realize that it is going to get chilly, I often don't travel with snacks or an extra blanket, I will forget about my kids needing drinks but will remember to bring my own cup of coffee. At times, I can be extremely selfish. At this very moment, I have put apple juice and water into my baby's sippy cup in hopes of keeping him off the breast for 30 freakin minutes so I can write this post, throw in a load of laundry, and just *maybe* get to put on some make-up before I leave the house for work. I listen to my baby cry each day while I shower because he is terrified of the shower.... I know that I would be a better mom if I showered while everyone was still home so he wouldn't have to be scared, but that would require me waking up at 5am and I am just unwilling to do that. I don't make my kids eat nearly enough vegetables and sometimes they get to drink soda. They eat food colorings, gluten, dairy, sugar, hydrogenated oils, and high fructose corn syrup. My poor kids got this imperfect creature as their mother.

However, they know that I love them fiercely. Your hurt one of my babies and I will run you over with my car without even blinking. I try to be sure they all have clothing, housing, food in their bellies, and plenty of sleep. I try to have good conversations with each of them daily about what is happening in their lives and I don't even roll my eyes (at least not while facing them) when we are talking about Star Wars or Harry Potter..... AGAIN. I laugh at their jokes and delight in the people I can see them becoming. I praise my child who struggles with her emotions when I can see her trying REALLY hard to react appropriately to situations that come up. I point out the awesome and quirky things that I see and I never try to turn them into people they are not. I giggle when one is supposed to be playing football and is instead taking down his teammates with his invisible light saber. I love how that child still lives in his own little world.

So, you caught me. I didn't have a blanket for my baby and clearly I suck in many ways. I think I am just giving my kids some character though :) They will have stories about how imperfect their mom was that will make them laugh some day. Or, maybe I will just have to spend my retirement fund on therapy for the lot of them.

Sorry for the lack of photos.....

We have still been working on this home, but I have no photos to share. You can thank one of my children (the one named "Not Me") for that. Said child took my awesome Canon Rebel in automatic mode and twisted the lens hard and broke my lens. I am thrilled. <sigh> Oh well, they go back to school tomorrow!

This weekend we have managed to get all the smoke detectors hung up! Don't worry, Mom, we had them out of the boxes, but just not up on the walls yet.... we were kinda protected. We also finished changing all the outlets and light switches. We still have one mystery light switch that we cannot figure out what it controls. Joe fixed the downspout above our side deck so that the water won't rot away all his handy work. We have also just been preparing for the school year, cleaning, hanging up pictures, etc. Joe is also preparing to start a new job this week, so that is very exciting!

We have been selling stuff, too. Rather than doing a garage sale, we have just been selling stuff on craigslist as we haven't needed it. This is a smaller home with very little storage space and Joe tells me that we are done making babies (BOO! HISS!), so we are just clearing out as we go. So far, I have sold off some cloth diapers and Joe sold our old electric dryer (love me some gas dryers... so much faster!). I still have a few baby toys listed that Fritz just outgrew, prefolds, a book shelf that is too tall to fit in our short house, and a futon that we have no need for. We might, eventually, get our garage back :)

Just a funny from the other night. A friend was asking our 6 year old if we have had a busy summer (she knows all about this house, work, etc) and Edie said, "Nope!" When pressed on it further she told our friend that we spent all summer just playing on our computers. That child CLEARLY doesn't remember what this house started off looking like :)

kids and pets will be the death of me

We got quite a bit done again today. Joe pulled down the carport thing-a-ma-jig and I painted some places that the lead paint was coming up. I have to say that I was not thrilled to have to repaint this stuff. Due to the kind of loan we have, we have to have an inspection at the end of the work, which also includes re-testing for lead paint. We had to pay someone about $2,000 to encapsulate this lead paint, but it hasn't been holding up, so I am having to repaint it all. Most of it is coming off in huge sheets.... bringing all the lead paint with the encapsulating paint.

Today I painted around the bathroom door. I was quite pleased and went to sit and eat some lunch while it dried. I told everyone not to touch it and not to use the door. I blocked it off with a chair. Our dog is terrified to go close to the chairs or baby gates. Well, she changed her mind on that today. She pushed the chair out of her way and got her paws and face in white paint and then proceeded to walk ALL OVER! IN CIRCLES! Amelia helped me scrub all of that up and prevented me from strangling Ramona.

I moved upstairs, where Owen's door had also been chipping. I got all of it repainted. I came down and talked to him about needing to stay out of his room. He needed to not use his door for at least 2 more hours and even then, he was not to close it. 20 minutes later I went upstairs and found that he had shut his door and locked it (I need to take that damn lock off his door) and had "forgotten" that he wasn't even supposed to go into the room yet. The door fits REALLY tight. So, all the work I had just done along the edge is completely undone and tomorrow I need to rescrape it all and repaint.

This home improvement business would be sooooooo much easier without kids! And pets! Of course, then I wouldn't have anyone to fix this home up for. Also, the push to take care of the lead paint would not be so great. Just be warned.... don't eat the paint chips when you come over.