Running for time instead of distance

The last few runs at the Community Center have been really freeing in some ways. I decided that since 13.5 laps make a mile, there was just no way that I was going to count laps or be able to keep track. Instead, I just ran and listened to my music. I ended up going for 38 minutes the first time and 31 minutes last night. It does hit my pride a little to not see the mileage building, but I think this method is better for my mental space.

It has been a challenge for me when I see other people's paces to keep my head held high. I am SLOW.  If I ever run a mile in less than 9 minutes, I will throw a party (no, really.... big party). On average, I tend to run a mile in about 12-13 minutes. This is even the case back before Fritz when I was running a lot more and on a more regular basis. Even when I had to run 2 miles in less than 18:54 to pass Army basic training, I barely made it and then threw up on myself and peed my pants... that is how hard I was running. And that was after being in extremely regular physical training.... hours every. single. day. At the community center, it is not unusual for little old ladies with walkers to pass me. One would think it would be inspirational to compare with others who are running faster, but for me, it hits me and makes it so I kinda just want to give up. So, I am feeling like if I stop keeping track of pace for awhile, it will keep me moving without me making the comparisons. I am a pretty competitive person in some ways..... usually in ways that bring me down on myself.

I thought a lot about training techniques last night while running in a circle. I was wondering if I would be able to train for any big races by ignoring distance. I think so! I find that when I am tracking distance, I sometimes will skip hills or other things that would make my run more challenging so that I get a better time. I also will often stick to only roads that I know I can map later so I know how far I went. If I am running slower than normal, I will find myself getting really angry at myself instead of just relaxing and going with it. When I have focused on wanting to go a certain distance, I have sometimes pushed myself much harder than my body could handle (hello, injury!). Even if I never pay attention to distance again, I guess I will know that I would be ready for a marathon if I could run for 5 hours :) I have a feeling that I will start tracking distances again before I am able to run for 5 hours straight, but for now it is feeling a bit more 'zen' to just let it go.