You know who you are. You see me as a parent and it brings pity into your heart for my small children. You can't help but come up to me and let me know the errors of my ways. Last night, you let me know that you felt my baby was dressed inappropriately for the weather. I laughed a little and said that I was just trying to make my baby prepared for when the windchill takes this b*tch to -50 (ok, I didn't say the b-word, but I was struggling not to).
What I really wanted to say:
I am glad for your child that she has a perfect mother. That is simply not my kids' lot in life. They got me. I mess up..... daily. I swear too much, I am sarcastic, I sometimes get snippy with them for no good reason, I don't check the weather report before we leave the house for an hour and so I don't realize that it is going to get chilly, I often don't travel with snacks or an extra blanket, I will forget about my kids needing drinks but will remember to bring my own cup of coffee. At times, I can be extremely selfish. At this very moment, I have put apple juice and water into my baby's sippy cup in hopes of keeping him off the breast for 30 freakin minutes so I can write this post, throw in a load of laundry, and just *maybe* get to put on some make-up before I leave the house for work. I listen to my baby cry each day while I shower because he is terrified of the shower.... I know that I would be a better mom if I showered while everyone was still home so he wouldn't have to be scared, but that would require me waking up at 5am and I am just unwilling to do that. I don't make my kids eat nearly enough vegetables and sometimes they get to drink soda. They eat food colorings, gluten, dairy, sugar, hydrogenated oils, and high fructose corn syrup. My poor kids got this imperfect creature as their mother.
However, they know that I love them fiercely. Your hurt one of my babies and I will run you over with my car without even blinking. I try to be sure they all have clothing, housing, food in their bellies, and plenty of sleep. I try to have good conversations with each of them daily about what is happening in their lives and I don't even roll my eyes (at least not while facing them) when we are talking about Star Wars or Harry Potter..... AGAIN. I laugh at their jokes and delight in the people I can see them becoming. I praise my child who struggles with her emotions when I can see her trying REALLY hard to react appropriately to situations that come up. I point out the awesome and quirky things that I see and I never try to turn them into people they are not. I giggle when one is supposed to be playing football and is instead taking down his teammates with his invisible light saber. I love how that child still lives in his own little world.
So, you caught me. I didn't have a blanket for my baby and clearly I suck in many ways. I think I am just giving my kids some character though :) They will have stories about how imperfect their mom was that will make them laugh some day. Or, maybe I will just have to spend my retirement fund on therapy for the lot of them.
Well said, Erica. I'd love to live closer to you so we could become real-time non-cyber friends and whip our sugared children down the block in their stocking feet! ~Sonya in Brainerd :-)
ReplyDeletedon't sweat it for a second. If you took a poll in our neighborhood I'm sure I'd be up for deadbeat mom of the year simply due to the amount of shit laying around in our yard, the state of the grass, the mess usually flowing out of the cars, etc. I'm sure they'd all drop dead if I ever let them look inside our finances--living on a block of MBAs . . . they probably think Matt and I are crazy, immature, idiots. But our kids are happy and we love them; mine have been outside probably running around barefoot on the deck during -20 and they're fine.
ReplyDeletePeople.