I have been asked a few times by people what has happened to all my running Dailymile posts that I used to do. Unfortunately, I am just not logging very many miles by running right now. Prior to getting pregnant (and even during my pregnancy) there was a certain bliss that came from long runs. Going out for 90 minutes to run brought me an incredible zen-like joy, lots of endorphins, and I wouldn't even ache the next day. I seem to have lost that! Since Fritz was born, each run has made me tired, sore, achey, and not joy-like. I haven't been able to capture that blissful feeling.
I still remember one amazing run, shortly after finding out I was pregnant. I went up to the college and ran on their trails while contemplating the surprising news that we were going to have a new person joining us. I had a lot to think about. On the way home, which was downhill, I decided to run through people's yards rather than the sidewalk. I was in my barefoot shoes, Mumford and Sons pumping through my headphones, and I was flying down the hill through the grass. I felt like a kid. I got home and was so filled with JOY (you know, and endorphins getting me high as a kite). I want to feel THAT when I workout. I need to feel that in order to continue.
Today is the Mankato Marathon. I am cheering on all the people who are running (but from home as I am recovering from the flu), and I hope they are feeling that joy and bliss. I had been planning on running a marathon by now (Fox Cities Marathon back in September), but when I couldn't get that bliss to join me in my running shoes, I couldn't make myself do the long milage required for training. There is a big part of me that is jealous of those runners as this was a goal I had held out for myself, but it is simply not my time yet. I have faith that eventually I will find that rhythm again, where I run and feel like a kid and my brain goes quiet from all the worries and stresses of life.
In the meantime, I am experimenting with workouts. I have been walking a lot since Fritz enjoys that. I have also been hitting the YMCA for some lap swimming, which I suck at. I am looking at a few YMCA classes that I might give a try to.... cardio kickboxing and that sort of thing. Maybe I will give yoga another try. I have considered buying snow shoes and cross country skis for winter, maybe one of these other activities will help me find that same joy? Time will tell.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Why are you so cranky?
Yesterday, I scrubbed my house. I washed, dried, and folded 6 loads of laundry, I did the dishes, I bleached out the sink, I made pizza crust from scratch and got dinner on the table by 5:30PM, I vacuumed up the dead wasps in my home office, I picked up some of the trash outside on the yard, I took out the compost, I cleaned dog poop up out of my son's room, I lit incense to take care of the dog poop aroma, I bathed the baby, I cleaned up after the baby played in the toilet and got pee water all over the floor, I swept the stairs, I scrubbed the kitchen table, I got insurance billed for 1 client, I brought down all the dirty laundry from the bedrooms, and all of this was while caring for a baby who clings to my legs and screams at me because my breast is not in his mouth.
Would you like to know what followed?
"Oh, honey, the house looks great and it smells so good and I am very excited for this homemade pizza with from-scratch crust! Let me give you a foot rub and why don't you soak in the bath while I take the Girl Scout out for her door-to-door solicitations. And by the way, I can tell you went to the gym... you look amazing."
"Wow! Mom! Thanks for washing all our clothes so we have clean underwear! Thank you for cleaning up the dog poop. Dinner looks great! How can we help keep the house clean?"
"Mommy, I know I am a needy baby who demands to be nursed and snuggled 24/7 and I haven't been letting you sleep, but I just want you to know that you are the best mommy EVER!"
Umm.... yeah... no, this is the real world. Not one single person mentioned that the house looked nice or smelled nice. No one thanked me for the mountains of laundry I took care of. They did complain about needing to put them away. I am pretty sure my husband did not even notice that the house had been cleaned.... he asked me where the low mein noodle was that I was complaining about on Facebook.... dude, I cleaned it up. <sigh>
I did, however, get asked why I seemed so cranky.
Would you like to know what followed?
"Oh, honey, the house looks great and it smells so good and I am very excited for this homemade pizza with from-scratch crust! Let me give you a foot rub and why don't you soak in the bath while I take the Girl Scout out for her door-to-door solicitations. And by the way, I can tell you went to the gym... you look amazing."
"Wow! Mom! Thanks for washing all our clothes so we have clean underwear! Thank you for cleaning up the dog poop. Dinner looks great! How can we help keep the house clean?"
"Mommy, I know I am a needy baby who demands to be nursed and snuggled 24/7 and I haven't been letting you sleep, but I just want you to know that you are the best mommy EVER!"
Umm.... yeah... no, this is the real world. Not one single person mentioned that the house looked nice or smelled nice. No one thanked me for the mountains of laundry I took care of. They did complain about needing to put them away. I am pretty sure my husband did not even notice that the house had been cleaned.... he asked me where the low mein noodle was that I was complaining about on Facebook.... dude, I cleaned it up. <sigh>
I did, however, get asked why I seemed so cranky.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Monday Fitness Weekly Wrap-Up
Mondays are the start of the new week on dailymile, so I tend to think of my workout week beginning on a Monday rather than a Sunday. This last week I logged 14.93 miles..... not too shabby, but I need to improve upon that! I spent 4 hours and 42 minutes getting these miles and there was only 1 run, the rest were walks. I didn't even walk in a weird, fast, hip-swinging way. It was just me out for a stroll with the baby.
Our walks were all lovely. It is getting crisp out there. I found my headphones (finally!) after losing them in the move. Fritz loves being in the stroller, so I have been trying to get him out in the fresh air almost daily. My run with Fritz was a little rough as we had a run-in with a driver who thought he was HILARIOUS, but I have let it go.
This week I would like to really try to get myself to the Y to work out. I haven't used my membership since I was pregnant (other than taking the kids swimming a few times), even though I continue to pay for it. The childcare there doesn't accept babies until they are 6 months old, so I had to wait. Fritz turned 6 months old over the summer, but then the hours of school age watch and younger kids weren't the same and the Pepsi cube (where big kids can play) wasn't open at the same time as the childcare and so, basically, it was impossible for me to go with all these children. Now with school back in session and the childcare hours being normal, I should either be able to go during the day when the bigs are all in school, or even after school if the bigs have their homework done.
I have been considering once a week making Amelia go to an aerobics class with me. Maybe Zumba. I am trying to find ways to make my kids more active. I want to help them find activities they don't mind doing. I figure exercise is NOT optional when it comes to health so I just want to help them find activities they enjoy doing. I actually have it as part of their daily chore charts. They must move their bodies for 20 minutes (minimum) each day after school. How they do it is up to them, but they can walk, jump on the trampoline, ride bike, go for a run, play at the park across the street, organize a game that involves running, etc. I plan on making a better effort once it gets cold outside of taking them to the pool to swim once or twice a week for their activity, but for now the weather has been holding.
Maybe I will try to make it to lap swim today. Of course, that will require enough shower time to shave and I am not sure if Fritz will allow for that. We will see what we can accomplish :)
Our walks were all lovely. It is getting crisp out there. I found my headphones (finally!) after losing them in the move. Fritz loves being in the stroller, so I have been trying to get him out in the fresh air almost daily. My run with Fritz was a little rough as we had a run-in with a driver who thought he was HILARIOUS, but I have let it go.
This week I would like to really try to get myself to the Y to work out. I haven't used my membership since I was pregnant (other than taking the kids swimming a few times), even though I continue to pay for it. The childcare there doesn't accept babies until they are 6 months old, so I had to wait. Fritz turned 6 months old over the summer, but then the hours of school age watch and younger kids weren't the same and the Pepsi cube (where big kids can play) wasn't open at the same time as the childcare and so, basically, it was impossible for me to go with all these children. Now with school back in session and the childcare hours being normal, I should either be able to go during the day when the bigs are all in school, or even after school if the bigs have their homework done.
I have been considering once a week making Amelia go to an aerobics class with me. Maybe Zumba. I am trying to find ways to make my kids more active. I want to help them find activities they don't mind doing. I figure exercise is NOT optional when it comes to health so I just want to help them find activities they enjoy doing. I actually have it as part of their daily chore charts. They must move their bodies for 20 minutes (minimum) each day after school. How they do it is up to them, but they can walk, jump on the trampoline, ride bike, go for a run, play at the park across the street, organize a game that involves running, etc. I plan on making a better effort once it gets cold outside of taking them to the pool to swim once or twice a week for their activity, but for now the weather has been holding.
Maybe I will try to make it to lap swim today. Of course, that will require enough shower time to shave and I am not sure if Fritz will allow for that. We will see what we can accomplish :)
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Weight loss goals vs. delusions
I am finding myself torn lately about my goals when it comes to my weight. When I originally started this weight loss journey I figured I would be happy if I ever got to the point where I didn't need to shop at Lane Bryant anymore. Once that happened, then I figured if I could get to a normal BMI (136lbs or less) then that would be amazing. I had almost gotten there when I got pregnant. After having Fritz, I was immediately 131 lbs, which was pretty stinking awesome. Now, at 8 1/2 months post partum, I am down to 123 lbs. This is way lighter than I had ever expected to be. This is where I become a bit confused though. I find myself wondering if I shouldn't just take off another 10-15lbs. I have a teeny little frame, I am not meant to be heavy. I am not "big boned" at all! Should I consider myself done with weight loss at 123 or should I push just a little bit more?
When I look at my excess skin, there is, realistically, about 6-10 lbs worth of excess skin that I could have removed. You simply can't lose as much weight as I have (I have lost more than I weigh) and NOT have a good amount of extra skin swinging around. So, maybe I shouldn't lose anything and instead save up for a tummy tuck/lower body lift?
It is hard to think of getting OUT of the weigh loss mode. This must be how those anorexic girls on the after-school specials felt. They could look in a mirror and still see a bit more to come off. Not that I am anorexic.... I am not saying that. It is just that one can always see room for improvement and when does this cross into being a bit delusional? When does it cross into an unhealthy obsession?
I think I need to just get back in the gym and focusing on my work outs. That tends to help as I am not so focused on my weight or weight loss, but instead focused on fitness goals. Now that Fritzy is over 6 months old, he can finally go to the childcare at the YMCA!!!! YAY!!! I should utilize that on days that I don't have to work. This last week I have let my feet carry me more than 13 miles with running/walking and that has been sooooooo nice. Time to step it up a bit more. Time to lift some weights and get some muscles. Time to challenge myself. Time to get re-started with that marathon training business..... that all fell by the wayside while we tried to make this house livable and my arthritis was flaring up big time and life felt hard.
Fitness goals:
When I look at my excess skin, there is, realistically, about 6-10 lbs worth of excess skin that I could have removed. You simply can't lose as much weight as I have (I have lost more than I weigh) and NOT have a good amount of extra skin swinging around. So, maybe I shouldn't lose anything and instead save up for a tummy tuck/lower body lift?
It is hard to think of getting OUT of the weigh loss mode. This must be how those anorexic girls on the after-school specials felt. They could look in a mirror and still see a bit more to come off. Not that I am anorexic.... I am not saying that. It is just that one can always see room for improvement and when does this cross into being a bit delusional? When does it cross into an unhealthy obsession?
I think I need to just get back in the gym and focusing on my work outs. That tends to help as I am not so focused on my weight or weight loss, but instead focused on fitness goals. Now that Fritzy is over 6 months old, he can finally go to the childcare at the YMCA!!!! YAY!!! I should utilize that on days that I don't have to work. This last week I have let my feet carry me more than 13 miles with running/walking and that has been sooooooo nice. Time to step it up a bit more. Time to lift some weights and get some muscles. Time to challenge myself. Time to get re-started with that marathon training business..... that all fell by the wayside while we tried to make this house livable and my arthritis was flaring up big time and life felt hard.
Fitness goals:
- Be able to ride bike to and from the YMCA for workouts (the Y is the next town down the highway), this would be 12.9 miles each way.
- Get back up to running for 60-90 minutes straight.... eventually get that marathon training
- Lift some weights! See some arm muscles
- Be able to swim 1/2 a mile
- Be able to feel fit enough to go for a run with someone else (I run alone because I am SLOW)
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Open letter to the mothers who are far better than I am.
You know who you are. You see me as a parent and it brings pity into your heart for my small children. You can't help but come up to me and let me know the errors of my ways. Last night, you let me know that you felt my baby was dressed inappropriately for the weather. I laughed a little and said that I was just trying to make my baby prepared for when the windchill takes this b*tch to -50 (ok, I didn't say the b-word, but I was struggling not to).
What I really wanted to say:
I am glad for your child that she has a perfect mother. That is simply not my kids' lot in life. They got me. I mess up..... daily. I swear too much, I am sarcastic, I sometimes get snippy with them for no good reason, I don't check the weather report before we leave the house for an hour and so I don't realize that it is going to get chilly, I often don't travel with snacks or an extra blanket, I will forget about my kids needing drinks but will remember to bring my own cup of coffee. At times, I can be extremely selfish. At this very moment, I have put apple juice and water into my baby's sippy cup in hopes of keeping him off the breast for 30 freakin minutes so I can write this post, throw in a load of laundry, and just *maybe* get to put on some make-up before I leave the house for work. I listen to my baby cry each day while I shower because he is terrified of the shower.... I know that I would be a better mom if I showered while everyone was still home so he wouldn't have to be scared, but that would require me waking up at 5am and I am just unwilling to do that. I don't make my kids eat nearly enough vegetables and sometimes they get to drink soda. They eat food colorings, gluten, dairy, sugar, hydrogenated oils, and high fructose corn syrup. My poor kids got this imperfect creature as their mother.
However, they know that I love them fiercely. Your hurt one of my babies and I will run you over with my car without even blinking. I try to be sure they all have clothing, housing, food in their bellies, and plenty of sleep. I try to have good conversations with each of them daily about what is happening in their lives and I don't even roll my eyes (at least not while facing them) when we are talking about Star Wars or Harry Potter..... AGAIN. I laugh at their jokes and delight in the people I can see them becoming. I praise my child who struggles with her emotions when I can see her trying REALLY hard to react appropriately to situations that come up. I point out the awesome and quirky things that I see and I never try to turn them into people they are not. I giggle when one is supposed to be playing football and is instead taking down his teammates with his invisible light saber. I love how that child still lives in his own little world.
So, you caught me. I didn't have a blanket for my baby and clearly I suck in many ways. I think I am just giving my kids some character though :) They will have stories about how imperfect their mom was that will make them laugh some day. Or, maybe I will just have to spend my retirement fund on therapy for the lot of them.
What I really wanted to say:
I am glad for your child that she has a perfect mother. That is simply not my kids' lot in life. They got me. I mess up..... daily. I swear too much, I am sarcastic, I sometimes get snippy with them for no good reason, I don't check the weather report before we leave the house for an hour and so I don't realize that it is going to get chilly, I often don't travel with snacks or an extra blanket, I will forget about my kids needing drinks but will remember to bring my own cup of coffee. At times, I can be extremely selfish. At this very moment, I have put apple juice and water into my baby's sippy cup in hopes of keeping him off the breast for 30 freakin minutes so I can write this post, throw in a load of laundry, and just *maybe* get to put on some make-up before I leave the house for work. I listen to my baby cry each day while I shower because he is terrified of the shower.... I know that I would be a better mom if I showered while everyone was still home so he wouldn't have to be scared, but that would require me waking up at 5am and I am just unwilling to do that. I don't make my kids eat nearly enough vegetables and sometimes they get to drink soda. They eat food colorings, gluten, dairy, sugar, hydrogenated oils, and high fructose corn syrup. My poor kids got this imperfect creature as their mother.
However, they know that I love them fiercely. Your hurt one of my babies and I will run you over with my car without even blinking. I try to be sure they all have clothing, housing, food in their bellies, and plenty of sleep. I try to have good conversations with each of them daily about what is happening in their lives and I don't even roll my eyes (at least not while facing them) when we are talking about Star Wars or Harry Potter..... AGAIN. I laugh at their jokes and delight in the people I can see them becoming. I praise my child who struggles with her emotions when I can see her trying REALLY hard to react appropriately to situations that come up. I point out the awesome and quirky things that I see and I never try to turn them into people they are not. I giggle when one is supposed to be playing football and is instead taking down his teammates with his invisible light saber. I love how that child still lives in his own little world.
So, you caught me. I didn't have a blanket for my baby and clearly I suck in many ways. I think I am just giving my kids some character though :) They will have stories about how imperfect their mom was that will make them laugh some day. Or, maybe I will just have to spend my retirement fund on therapy for the lot of them.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Sorry for the lack of photos.....
We have still been working on this home, but I have no photos to share. You can thank one of my children (the one named "Not Me") for that. Said child took my awesome Canon Rebel in automatic mode and twisted the lens hard and broke my lens. I am thrilled. <sigh> Oh well, they go back to school tomorrow!
This weekend we have managed to get all the smoke detectors hung up! Don't worry, Mom, we had them out of the boxes, but just not up on the walls yet.... we were kinda protected. We also finished changing all the outlets and light switches. We still have one mystery light switch that we cannot figure out what it controls. Joe fixed the downspout above our side deck so that the water won't rot away all his handy work. We have also just been preparing for the school year, cleaning, hanging up pictures, etc. Joe is also preparing to start a new job this week, so that is very exciting!
We have been selling stuff, too. Rather than doing a garage sale, we have just been selling stuff on craigslist as we haven't needed it. This is a smaller home with very little storage space and Joe tells me that we are done making babies (BOO! HISS!), so we are just clearing out as we go. So far, I have sold off some cloth diapers and Joe sold our old electric dryer (love me some gas dryers... so much faster!). I still have a few baby toys listed that Fritz just outgrew, prefolds, a book shelf that is too tall to fit in our short house, and a futon that we have no need for. We might, eventually, get our garage back :)
Just a funny from the other night. A friend was asking our 6 year old if we have had a busy summer (she knows all about this house, work, etc) and Edie said, "Nope!" When pressed on it further she told our friend that we spent all summer just playing on our computers. That child CLEARLY doesn't remember what this house started off looking like :)
This weekend we have managed to get all the smoke detectors hung up! Don't worry, Mom, we had them out of the boxes, but just not up on the walls yet.... we were kinda protected. We also finished changing all the outlets and light switches. We still have one mystery light switch that we cannot figure out what it controls. Joe fixed the downspout above our side deck so that the water won't rot away all his handy work. We have also just been preparing for the school year, cleaning, hanging up pictures, etc. Joe is also preparing to start a new job this week, so that is very exciting!
We have been selling stuff, too. Rather than doing a garage sale, we have just been selling stuff on craigslist as we haven't needed it. This is a smaller home with very little storage space and Joe tells me that we are done making babies (BOO! HISS!), so we are just clearing out as we go. So far, I have sold off some cloth diapers and Joe sold our old electric dryer (love me some gas dryers... so much faster!). I still have a few baby toys listed that Fritz just outgrew, prefolds, a book shelf that is too tall to fit in our short house, and a futon that we have no need for. We might, eventually, get our garage back :)
Just a funny from the other night. A friend was asking our 6 year old if we have had a busy summer (she knows all about this house, work, etc) and Edie said, "Nope!" When pressed on it further she told our friend that we spent all summer just playing on our computers. That child CLEARLY doesn't remember what this house started off looking like :)
Sunday, August 26, 2012
kids and pets will be the death of me
We got quite a bit done again today. Joe pulled down the carport thing-a-ma-jig and I painted some places that the lead paint was coming up. I have to say that I was not thrilled to have to repaint this stuff. Due to the kind of loan we have, we have to have an inspection at the end of the work, which also includes re-testing for lead paint. We had to pay someone about $2,000 to encapsulate this lead paint, but it hasn't been holding up, so I am having to repaint it all. Most of it is coming off in huge sheets.... bringing all the lead paint with the encapsulating paint.
Today I painted around the bathroom door. I was quite pleased and went to sit and eat some lunch while it dried. I told everyone not to touch it and not to use the door. I blocked it off with a chair. Our dog is terrified to go close to the chairs or baby gates. Well, she changed her mind on that today. She pushed the chair out of her way and got her paws and face in white paint and then proceeded to walk ALL OVER! IN CIRCLES! Amelia helped me scrub all of that up and prevented me from strangling Ramona.
I moved upstairs, where Owen's door had also been chipping. I got all of it repainted. I came down and talked to him about needing to stay out of his room. He needed to not use his door for at least 2 more hours and even then, he was not to close it. 20 minutes later I went upstairs and found that he had shut his door and locked it (I need to take that damn lock off his door) and had "forgotten" that he wasn't even supposed to go into the room yet. The door fits REALLY tight. So, all the work I had just done along the edge is completely undone and tomorrow I need to rescrape it all and repaint.
This home improvement business would be sooooooo much easier without kids! And pets! Of course, then I wouldn't have anyone to fix this home up for. Also, the push to take care of the lead paint would not be so great. Just be warned.... don't eat the paint chips when you come over.
Today I painted around the bathroom door. I was quite pleased and went to sit and eat some lunch while it dried. I told everyone not to touch it and not to use the door. I blocked it off with a chair. Our dog is terrified to go close to the chairs or baby gates. Well, she changed her mind on that today. She pushed the chair out of her way and got her paws and face in white paint and then proceeded to walk ALL OVER! IN CIRCLES! Amelia helped me scrub all of that up and prevented me from strangling Ramona.
I moved upstairs, where Owen's door had also been chipping. I got all of it repainted. I came down and talked to him about needing to stay out of his room. He needed to not use his door for at least 2 more hours and even then, he was not to close it. 20 minutes later I went upstairs and found that he had shut his door and locked it (I need to take that damn lock off his door) and had "forgotten" that he wasn't even supposed to go into the room yet. The door fits REALLY tight. So, all the work I had just done along the edge is completely undone and tomorrow I need to rescrape it all and repaint.
This home improvement business would be sooooooo much easier without kids! And pets! Of course, then I wouldn't have anyone to fix this home up for. Also, the push to take care of the lead paint would not be so great. Just be warned.... don't eat the paint chips when you come over.
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