He was our baby who almost wasn't. We had decided after trying for a baby for a LONG time and not getting results to stop living our lives in that uncertain place of if we would or wouldn't have a baby come along. We decided it was time for a vasectomy and we would simply appreciate the family we already had while exploring adoption a bit more seriously. I found out just a few days after making this decision that we were already expecting. Thank you, Fritz, for slipping in there :)
I won't bore you with discussion on 9 months of pregnancy. Just know that I don't do pregnancy well. I was really sick. I lost 13lbs in my first trimester and felt like garbage. My body ached as I got further along and then I spent the last month of my pregnancy with a weird pinched nerve that made me nearly bed-ridden. Anytime that I really wish for another pregnancy, I just have to remind myself of that excruciating pain that would drop me to the floor and suddenly I am kind of over it. However, I really still did cherish and enjoy growing this tiny baby in my body who I was sure was my next little girl. While I don't do pregnancy well, I always appreciate the curves of my body while pregnant. I will never look better naked then I do when pregnant.
Here I am at 38 weeks:
1 week after my due date I was achy and cranky, like every other day. I went up to St Louis Park to a meeting for midwives being held in a birth center. There were a few jokes about how well they could take care of me if I went into labor and I joked back that I couldn't afford the fee for 15 midwives and the facility fee of the birth center. Throughout the meeting I was getting more and more uncomfortable and wiggly in my chair. A few times I got just flushed. I had been contracting for WEEKS, so those meant nothing to me. Finally, the meeting was over and I was relieved because my back really hurt.
On my way home from the meeting, I called my husband and joked around, "I am having contractions every 3-4 minutes, should we have a baby today?" Again, I had been having regular bouts of contractions like this for weeks, so it was really a joke. I stopped off for some food to bring home and then finished my drive. I got home and shared some chicken nachos with Joe, greeted the kids coming home from school and looked over their report cards. I then took a shower (where I checked my cervix again... yep, still 5-6cm... why wasn't this baby coming???) and after my shower I collapsed on the bed. I was exhausted. Joe, at this point, got a call from his boss asking him if he would run a call 2 hours from home and I begged him not to; I was feeling needy and just didn't want him to go so far from home. Thankfully, he told his boss we had plans and he left the room. Shortly after this, while laying on the bed, there was amniotic fluid gushing everywhere. GUSHING. I sent Edie to get my doppler so I could listen to the baby and figured it would be good for Joe to call our midwife and let her know :)
Labor started immediately. Well, labor had really started weeks in advance, but things were very active very quickly after my water breaking. Joe worked on setting up the pool downstairs and I just hung out in our room either alone or with Edie. Every so often she would lift up my towel and announce that the baby wasn't coming out yet. Just in case I wouldn't know. Contractions were hard, like really hard, so Joe asked if we should call Rachel to start her hour drive to us. I didn't think so, but he was smart and could see that I was hiding behind our bed and clearly in labor land and doing a slight grunt-push with the peak of each contraction, so he called her anyhow.
Fortunately, the pool was ready to get in, so I could stop leaking puddles of amniotic fluid all over the power strips in our bedroom (seriously, I could have electrocuted myself with this move). Joe had the space all set up with some candles and music and the warm pool, which was far TOO warm, so I had to sit on the yoga ball while he put cold water in the pool. I climbed in just a few moments before Rachel arrived and it felt really good. When Rachel arrived I remember saying to her, "I am not having any fun!!!" and since she is a sweet friend and a good midwife, she simply said, "I know." Labor was hard and I felt so much pressure with my contractions.
This was only a few moments before his birth. Rachel seemed to just know that I needed some pressure on my back and it helped so much!
This photo was taken less than 10 minutes before Fritz's birth. Notice the smile on my face? I don't remember what I was laughing about, but obviously I was still in good spirits (just not during a contraction):
I will admit that I spent A LOT of time checking my own cervix here at the end. I was just so curious what was going on in there and I couldn't believe how fast things were going. My fastest previous labor had been 6 hours and by this point, I was less than 3 hours in. I remember feeling like I needed to push, but finding a huge cervical lip there, but within a contraction I felt the baby move right past it. This is when I told everyone, "It's coming!" Joe ran to the next room to tell the kids that they could come in if they wanted and he turned on the video camera. I could feel soooooo much head RIGHT. THERE. We were relieved it was head since he had been doing so many flips up until the last few days. The kids came in and stood next to the birth pool on one side and made some jokes about how it could just be a hairy butt instead of a head. Awe, my babies, always good for cracking some jokes and keeping the mood light.
His head came out and I couldn't move my hands away from him even if I would have tried. My husband did not catch. He wouldn't have had the option, because I wasn't letting go of this baby :)
(I love catching babies!)
Restitution and the shoulders are now out!
Ta da!! An entire person just came into the world!
I was SHOCKED that I just had a boy. I was absolutely certain I was having a girl. I had really felt connected with this little belly babe who I thought of as Clementine Josephine. Nope. I was wrong. I was surprised, but not disappointed. He was so pink and warm and squishy and AWESOME.
I was also so surprised to be holding a baby already! It had only been about 3 hours from the time my water broke until this person was in my arms. I guess I had done so much prep-work in the weeks leading up to this moment that there wasn't much left to do.
Sorry for the quality of a few of these pictures, our camera was set on "low light." This is the point where Owen declared that he was, "So excited I could pee my pants!"
They all were pretty amazed by their new brother. They were a little nervous to touch him at first and concerned about the "vomit" in the pool. I had to explain that it was VERNIX, not vomit.
I birthed the placenta and then made my way over to the couch which Joe had made up with sheets since our bed was up the stairs. I crashed here as did Edie :)
Quick newborn exam to show how healthy and lovely he was. 8lb 6oz, my 2nd biggest baby. Amelia was comparing her pinkie fingers to his :)
Just a quick picture to show how clean waterbirth often is. Look, not a single drop of blood in this water.
Joe is such a sucker for babies. It was really nice getting to see him cuddle with this little one who we had been waiting on for so long. We decided on the name Frederick Sullivan. Well, I decided ;) Joe wanted Sullivan (Sully), but I just really, really loved the name "Fritz".
It is just crazy to me that it has been a full year. He went from being that lovely 8lb 6oz baby boy to being... well, he is still pretty little at 18lbs :) I am just amazed by him and in awe that we get to have him in our family. All the children ADORE him and now I couldn't imagine what our lives would be like if he hadn't come along. He really does make the family feel so much more complete.
Happy birthday, Fritzy-pants!
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