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First of all, toddler, perhaps we could spend less than 2 hours trying to go to bed? You look SUPER sleepy in this picture. Lay down, close your eyes, and go TO SLEEP!
Although, thank you for the sweet smooches. But seriously, let's try some sleep for the most awesome present ever.
Another gift that I would LOVE for Mother's Day would be to not live in squalor. Kids, this room is not clean. I don't care how long you pretended to be scrubbing it while Snap-chatting with friends, it still isn't clean.
I would appreciate some help with the dishes. Help that doesn't end quite like this. Maybe just not leave the wine glasses where the 2 year old can reach them?
You know when I took you out for ice cream and then you dropped it and it sprayed all over the floor? Yeah, cleaning that up would make a pretty outstanding gift. Also, as a side note, using the big purple thing that shows up in this photo would be cool. It can be used by people other than your mama for things other than cleaning up the broken glass from your brother's contributions to the dishes.
Maybe if your shoes smell like swamp, you could stop wearing them? The best gift of all would be if you threw them away. And then if you stopped walking through whatever makes your feet smell like death once I get you a new pair. Tomorrow. Maybe these should just be burned.
Generally speaking, if your mom takes 1/2 a day off work to run to thrift stores to find you a dress to wear for your dance recital, but then you decide instead to take something you already own, but ruin it by cutting it to bits, that isn't going to thrill your mama. For some weird reason, it actually would make me feel better if you mended this. Or wore the costume dress that I took 1/2 a day off work to find for you. You can look like an orphan from Annie for school on Monday since it was so important that I had to take 1/2 of Friday to put together the look.... and then you simply took something you already owned and..... ugh.....no....... mend it. It will look like a Frankenstein shirt, but at least I will know that you know that it kinda sucked that you took a $25 shirt and completely shredded it.
When moms tell their children to not eat food or bring drinks into their bedrooms, they should do a better job of hiding the evidence. What I don't know doesn't hurt. Becoming sneakier would make a good gift. And STOP STEALING YOUR DAD'S COKE!
Still not clean. Better, but.... no..... just no....
For the love of all that is holy, children, do your mama a favor and take your dirty chundies OUT of your pants before laundry.
Just for once, maybe on Mother's Day, when you tell me that all the laundry is folded, could you please be telling the truth?
Husbands can give great gifts, too. When your wife, who you are taking out for Mother's Day, says, "Hey, I want to wear my heels and dress up." How about if you don't respond with, "You can't get dressed up because I don't have any slacks to wear and we won't match. Just wear jeans."
Guess what, Love-ah? I found TWO pairs of slacks!!! Put one pair on when we go out tonight and I will consider that a great gift... cause then I can wear my heels and my legs will looks A-MA-ZING :)
Children, maybe tomorrow you could not run into the bathroom the minute there is work to do? I know you aren't really doing any business in there. I know this is because you spilled ice cream everywhere and you are hoping that I will clean it before you come out.
You can be piggies and messy, but at least throw me a few smiles and some love. Maybe follow the toddler's lead as he usually treats me pretty well. Other than the fact that the booger doesn't sleep. And he throws wine glasses on the floor. At least just smile like this at me :)
